


With Hat in Hand

by Huge_actman



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Barlyle but not quite, Coming Out, Gen, Hurt, The Greatest Showman, bisexual circus dad's, let down, tgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huge_actman/pseuds/Huge_actman
Summary: PT decides to tell Phillip about his non platonic feelings for him.





	With Hat in Hand

(Promt: “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.”)

 

Phineas clutches his hat in hands, turning it over and over in his fingers as he anxiously goes over what he wants to say to Phillip. Sweat beads on his brow and he wipes it away with his sleeve.  
Phillip’s muscular build, the way the light catches his eyes, and images of what it might feel like to run his hands through the short cropped hair on Phil’s head flood Phineas’s mind. He has to do this, Phillip deserves to know. And, truth be told, Phineas can not contain himself any longer, cannot stand to love his business partner from afar. He needs Phillip to know, and he needs to know for himself.  
He raps lightly on the door to Phillip’s small dressing room, his hands so shaky that the knock is more of a stumble. Phineas puts the hat back on his head and straightens his back- straight as he’ll ever be- but jumps back and whips the hat off his head when Phillip’s voice rings out from inside the room, “Come on in, I’m clothed.”  
Too bad, whispers a tiny voice in the back of Phin’s mind, but he quickly shushes it and pushes the door open. Phillip is standing in front of the mirror, wearing a pair of black slacks that hug his legs nicely and show off his well toned thigh muscle, and no shirt. He is carefully shaving his jawline with a shiny new razor. The silver flashes in the fluttering lamplight, and Phineas finds his eyes lingering too long on the arch of Phillip’s neck, staring at the slow, steady caress of the blade between Phillip’s fingers. Many a night Phineas has spent awake, wondering what it might be like to stroke that skin, dare to brush his lips against it.  
“Evening, Phin,” Phillip glances at Phineas’s reflection in the mirror instead of turning around. “What brings you? Everything going alright with the troupe?” Phillip finishes his neck and moves to his left cheek. Phineas is no longer hypnotized by the steady movement of the blade, his eyes having moved down to the muscles rippling on Phillip’s uncovered arms and back.  
“Phineas?” Phillip waits expectantly, one eyebrow cocked in that scandalous way of his.  
Phin snaps out of his stupor and stutters, “I- I uh… You- erm. I mean, are you ready for the show tonight?” Phineas’s stomach twists itself in knots, and every carefully rehearsed line leaves his brain.  
Phillip laughs softly, “Sure am, Phin. Thank you for checking in.” He goes back to his shaving, and Phineas stands awkwardly by the door, clutching his hat in his hands once more.  
“Phillip, I need to tell you something” Phineas hears himself speaking, and can feel a terrible blush rising on his cheeks, but his body refuses to shut up and make a run for it before it’s too late.  
Phillip stops shaving and turns toward Phineas, his finely sculpted abdominal muscles disarming the already flustered Phineas. “Should I be concerned, Phin?”  
Phineas looks down at his hat, “Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.”  
There is a surprising softness in Phillip’s voice when the silence is finally broken, “You can tell me.”  
Phineas takes a breath, “I came to tell you that I’m...attracted to both genders. Women, like normal people, and also...to men.” Noise is rushing around Phineas, his skin is melting under the heat of an invisible fire, and his legs are barely holding him up. Good lord, his is terrified. Why did he want to do this again?  
“And by men I mean you. I have been for a while. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you. I know you can’t reciprocate, I just...thought you should know.”  
Phineas stands and waits for Phillip’s disgust to hit him, but none does.  
After a span of time that could have been a moment or a month, Phillip speaks. “I apologize, Phineas, but I do not feel the same way. I can’t love a man. Not like that. Anne is the person for me. However, I will not hate you or anything of the sort. You’re still my coworker and friend. I’m sorry, Phin, I really am.” There is deep kindness in his voice, and Phineas looks up at him.  
“At least now you know. I’ll go now.” Phin smiles half heartedly, and turns to go.  
Phillip’s hand on his shoulder stops him. “Shake?”  
The two shake hands solemnly, then Phineas slips from the room, flicking hot tears from his eyes.


End file.
